Things I will not be doing again

Now Loudboy is nearly one (where did the time go?) it’s a good time to reflect on his first year and the things I will definitely not be repeating if (IF) we have another baby.

1. Settling to sleep in his cot.  Took weeks and many tearful nights (me and him) where I was trying for hours to get him to sleep from a sleepy/awake state in his cot.  I had read the books.  This was Important.  What they don’t tell you is that as soon as you manage it they have a big developmental spurt/develop separation anxiety/restart teething and refuse to do it ever again.  Save yourself the angst until they’re ready to do it by themselves.  Oh, and it makes s** all difference to the number of wakings/settling themselves back to sleep/going back to sleep in the cot. 

2. Consistent naptime/bedtime routines.  Again, takes ages and then everything changes (see 1).

3. Getting the baby out of your bed and into the cot.  See 1.

4. Worrying about breastfeeding.  Loudboy fed well from the beginning.  He just fed often: every 2 hours (or less during a growth spurt) for the first five months.  He was gaining weight, was happy and settled, developing well, so of course I didn’t worry if he was getting enough/latching on well/feeding too often.  Ha. Of course I did.  Completely pointless.  Feed the baby when he’s hungry, get used to feeding in public and ignore anyone who tells you babies only need to feed every 3 or 4 hours.

5. Worrying about weaning.  You get to 6 months, offer a bit of pureed carrot and they refuse it!  Disaster!  They will starve!  Er, no.  Takes some babies longer to get interested in food, but they get there eventually.  Loudboy now chomping his way through three meals a day and pinching everyone else’s food when he can get away with it.

6. But the books say… Endless arguments with my husband as I was wearily trying to get Loudboy to sleep/eat/nap ‘but The Books Say to do this’.  Husband: ‘It’s a waste of time, it isn’t working, give up and do something else’.  I hate to say it, but he was right.  Dammit.

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14 Responses to Things I will not be doing again

  1. finngarianmama says:

    Heh. Every time I tried to follow a “method” in any given book (no matter how gentle), it resulted in WAY more stress for me until I just gave up and started working with my particular kid again. So yeah, I think books are great for information as to what is normal and so on (with exceptions of course) but beyond that, forget it!

  2. amberjee says:

    your husband is s-m-a-r-t!

  3. hear hear to all of the above!

  4. cinnamonamon says:

    Yup, yup & yup! lol I remember trying a lot of that with my first son — it’s such a joke! Give them what they need now & later (hopefully a few years…maybe 20 though lol) they’ll give it back! My oldest just started preschool & I was totally ready for tears, fear & all sorts of problems — he’s never been without us, unless it was with a close & well known relative or friend. He couldn’t leave my husband behind fast enough at the door to his new school! He’s a well adjusted & secure boy & I attribute a lot of that to listening to his needs those first few years. You’re rockin’ mama (and I love the name of your blog — Liz sent me the link). For the record; mine don’t sleep through the night yet, but they can get out of their bed & come sleep at the end of ours without any fuss now, so we don’t usually lose any sleep (other than with the baby!) Gee…I wrote a book!

  5. Everything i swore not to worry around the 2nd time around, and did’t for the most part – but then baby was a much easier child who actually liked to sleep herself (imagie that)

  6. tamdin says:

    wish i’d written this post.
    Infact I think this could be the shortest bestseller in the baby book genre!

  7. tibsy says:

    was just thinking that tam!!! what a fantastic post swizz, and so bloody true ;- )

  8. LOL! I love this. Thankfully, it didn’t take me long to pitch the parenting books, but that’s because my daughter was a freak of nature. I wish I could print this out and hand it out to every new mom in all the world, along with the advice to Just relax and enjoy YOUR baby.

  9. Anna says:

    Totally agree with all you have written, have been pulling my hair out with my nearly 8 month old and many sleepless nights. These comments have made me feel much better !

  10. NiSi says:

    THANK YOU THANK YOU for posting this – I feed every 2 hours during the day, sometimes more (we’re at the 12 weeks growth spurt, I believe), and get told to “just stick him on the bottle” and/or “just let him cry”. I refuse, but sometimes that sanity is hard to keep. So glad I am not the only one. I’ll throw out the books now and try finding my little one’s own manual – and keep feeding, feeding and feeding.

  11. kim says:

    Thank you. Finding your site has helped me reassure myself that I am not crazy.

  12. Tina Bailey says:

    All so true! With my second I am just going with the flow, following LO cues and just ‘not worrying about it’. DD1 never slept much – still doesnt at 2yr 3 mth. DD2 started well but regressed. Hell, they regress evry few weeks just when its sorted – or so you think! Do whatever it takes to get some sleep and sanity and you’ll be better for it. Me, DD’s and OH have been known on several occasions to all pile in one big bed – and we all sleep like babies (‘scuse the pun 🙂 )

  13. carmelite says:

    Whew! What a relief to read this! No book advice works for our little dear either. My husband and I have been joking for months that he just doesn’t believe in sleeping. BTW, what is the e-mail address to send in a question? My computer keeps trying to connect to Outlook software when I click the link above, but our Outlook is not set up. I use gmail.

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