Sleep Training – A Baby’s View

Thanks to Bianca Bean for sending this to us. I don’t know who wrote it, but thankyou, it made my day! 

Sleep Training – A Baby’s View

OK, here’s my situation. My Mommy has had me for almost 7 months. The first few months were great–I cried, she picked me up and fed me, anytime, day or night. Then something happened. Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to STTN (sleep thru the night). At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is only getting worse. I’ve talked to other babies, and it seems like it’s pretty common after Mommies have had us for around 6 months. Here’s the thing: these Mommies don’t really need to sleep. It’s just a habit. Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep–they just don’t need it anymore. So I am implementing a plan. I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.

It goes like this:

Night 1–cry every 3 hours until you get fed. I know, it’s hard. It’s hard to see your Mommy upset over your crying. Just keep reminding yourself, it’s for her own good.

Night 2–cry every 2 hours until you get fed.

Night 3–every hour.

Most Mommies will start to respond more quickly after about 3 nights.

Some Mommies are more alert, and may resist the change longer. These Mommies may stand in your doorway for hours, shhhh-ing. Don’t give in. I cannot stress this enough: CONSISTENCY IS KEY!! If you let her STTN (sleep through the night), just once, she will expect it every night. I KNOW IT’S HARD! But she really does not need the sleep, she is just resisting the change. If you have an especially alert Mommy, you can stop crying for about 10 minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep. Then cry again. It WILL eventually work. My Mommy once stayed awake for 10 hours straight, so I know she can do it.

Last night, I cried every hour. You just have to decide to stick to it and just go for it. BE CONSISTENT! I cried for any reason I could come up with. My sleep sack tickled my foot. I felt a wrinkle under the sheet. My mobile made a shadow on the wall. I burped, and it tasted like pears. I hadn’t eaten pears since lunch, what’s up with that? The cat said “meow”. I should know. My Mommy reminds me of this about 20 times a day. LOL. Once I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room. Too hot, too cold, just right–doesn’t matter! Keep crying!! It took awhile, but it worked. She fed me at 4am. Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am. You need to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to reset your Mommies’ internal clocks.

P.S. Don’t let those rubber things fool you, no matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out. Trust me.


20 Responses to Sleep Training – A Baby’s View

  1. tamdin says:

    makes you feel like a bit of a fool for trying any type of sleep ‘training’ doesn’t it! made me lol thanks x

  2. finngarianmama says:

    ROFLMAO!!! This is SO funny and SO true!! I’m going to have to pass it along to a few people. I swear, that’s what Baby Boo has been doing the past few nights! (Although, her excuses for now are teething and learning to crawl!)

  3. tibsy says:

    that is HILARIOUS!!! I can just imagine the bubs thinking that. i often wonder what is going thru her mind as she drifts off to sleep, now i know!!!

  4. excellent… so that’s what she’s up to!

  5. Kaz says:

    This is pretty good. We’re having our second in a little over a month, and it has reminded me of what we’re up against.. again..

  6. One of my clients sent this to me ( I am a child sleep consultant) as they thought I would like it – and I do – it has brought a smile into my day.

  7. Shannon K. says:

    Wow! I am convinced my daughter either wrote this or helped to write this. She is 9 months old and wakes up ever 2-3 hours and will only sleep 9 hours at night…the bare minimum. I am not a proponent of CIO, so I go in every time! =) These babies are smart!

  8. Julie says:

    Hilarious! I love it! Sadly I was the parent shh-ing for hours at the doorway one night…

  9. Emma Pollard says:

    Hi There, I am a sleep consultant at the goodnight Nurse. A client of mine sent this to me and I laughed till I cried! If you dont mind, I would like to send this on to some of my clients and maybe put it in my next newsletter (I will promote your site on it!) Thank you and now that I have found your site, I will be a regular visitor! Thank you for making me laugh!! Emma

  10. nidhi says:

    as a sleep deprived mommy of a 10 month old who has tried sleep training and failed, this is hilarious–i laughed and laughed..:)

  11. This was hysterical! Just what I needed after another sleepless night.

  12. […] 22, 2011 by L. Kes iganes selle autor on, väga andekas! Originaal pärit SIIT ja mina võtsin Mormelari blogist 🙂 Sleep Training – A Baby’s […]

  13. baby waren says:

    baby waren…

    […]Sleep Training – A Baby’s View « Sleep Is For The Weak[…]…

  14. mobile website creator…

    […]Sleep Training – A Baby???s View « Sleep Is For The Weak[…]…

  15. Jenny says:

    thats hilarious!! im glad my baby STTN since she’s been home from hosp

  16. […] been a bit busy, a bit tired and just a bit lazy. But I’m back. I’ve been inspired by a blog post a girlfriend sent me today: Sleep Training – A baby’s view.  She swears it was written by our two babies, I think she’s right. I was laughing so hard I […]

  17. lorajbanks says:

    That is totally what’s going on. They’re in they’re beds, texting their friends with the baby monitor, “LOL. She’s totally outside my door right now. She’s practically vibrating with hope that I’ll let her sleep. Idiot!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: