On giving up sleep (or not)

When the Imp was very little, I wished that I could give up sleeping for a while. I thought how perfect if I didn’t need sleep and could just hold him all night like he wanted. I could watch his little face sleeping hour after hour, how wonderful.

But in reality, I desperately need my sleep. At least some (I don’t want to be greedy since sleep in the first months of a baby’s life is in very short supply).

I remember dorje, buddhist meditation guru, telling me that when he would meditate in the Tibetan mountains all day, he would only have one hours sleep a night. But then looking after a baby is far from meditation, and london is far from a peaceful Tibetan mountain. So I figured maybe I couldn’t give up sleeping after all.

Instead I practiced sleeping in positions that would enable me to hold him while I slept. Just sleeping next to me was NOT enough for the Imp, oh no…

Propped up with a billion pillows in bed, tying him to me with the sling before reclining on the couch, sprawling out on the floor with him lying over my stomach. We tried it all. In the end I might not have gotten a lot of sleep this way, but it did allow me some downtime, some peace, some relaxation.

Almost as good as meditation.

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