Comments on: Permanently attached …

By: The Broken man

The Broken man — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 12:45:13 +0000

What a lovely supportive blog! I will definitely be coming back when our baby is born.

The Broken man

By: liz calderin

liz calderin — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 18:34:01 +0000

my son is 5 months old and has just begun a very similar nightime routine. he is waking up all night long to nurse. he would rather keep the nipple in his mouth throughout the night, but sometimes it falls out or i pull it out, which generally takes about 20 tries, so that i can attempt to roll over and have my back to him, which i figure will maybe keep him asleep longer. i imagine being him, waking up to my favorite food all night long and i guess i understand why he wants to snack constantly.
but, the reality is that he thinks he needs my nipple to be asleep. and that is the problem. i see you wrote this post recently (i’ve never been to this site before, just googled “breastfeeding co sleeping and night waking” this popped up). please email me if you have time and would be interested in a pen pal relationship where we can share ideas to attempt to get some sleep.
tonight i’m going to try getting him to sleep in our bed (with boob if necessary), leaving my husband and baby to sleep together and going downstairs to our extra bed room that has a twin bed and sleeping there until he wakes up to nurse. (with a monitor on so i can hear him). i hope that not having me next to him will permit him to sleep for longer lengths of time.
a side note, i read that lactating women’s bodies don’t ever go into the 4th and deepest stage of sleep, regardless of how often their baby wakes up. so, in some ways we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t….
liz.liptan@gmail.com

By: CSB

CSB — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 19:32:06 +0000

You poor thing!

Your post strikes so many chords for me. Our son was very similar in that he insisted on sleeping with the breast in his mouth and/or being rocked. Which meant putting him down and getting away was hard going. Although to be fair, it took until 5 months of age before I ^could^ feed him to sleep. Before then he screamed to sleep with or without my interference. [shudder] I digress.

We found something which we are convinced helped us to persuade him that being put down was OK – we started to pat him whenever he was falling asleep. Firm rhythmic patting, while he was being breastfed, while he was in the sling or while he was being rocked. Over a few weeks the patting became a bridge between him being held and him being put down, and this meant we could lay him down and soothe him with the patting. Once he was deeply asleep we could slow the pats down and then withdraw.

It did take weeks and weeks but I have found that as he gets older he learns new sleep stuff much quicker so it might be easier for you guys. You could pat him as he’s being breastfed and then continue the patting while you try to unlatch him. A good book is Elizabeth Pantley’s No Cry Sleep Solution, which gives loads of tips on babies who want to stay latched all night.

One thing I can tell you for sure – it won’t be like this forver. He will grow out of it, and one day you will look back and remember that it was bad, but not remember how bad it actually felt, if that makes sense. Hang on in there.

By: Brenda

Brenda — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 03:37:48 +0000

I agree with what was suggested here. We have sleep issues too, partially from attachment, but also because my son has Infant Reflux. But that’s a whole other topic. Gradual is good and that brought something to my mind. My son has a OT who comes out to our house once a week and works on stuff. We mentioned our sleep issues and one thing he recommended was to set the baby in their bed in a rocking motion, just like a leaf falling from a tree.

He said that babies have a very different idea of space and most hate the sensation of going backwards because to them, they think they’ll fall forever. Or something like that. Anyway, he would explain far better than I am doing now. The point is, try gradually rocking him down in his bed (or your bed) and leave your hands there for a few minutes until he settles.

It works for us sometimes but like with all things that involve babies, there is no one magic cure. Keep trying everything and hopefully something will work soon.

Wishing you sweet dreams and blissful rest!

By: adiemusfree

adiemusfree — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 23:46:22 +0000

If you’re screaming for sleep yourself, you can try the ‘controlled crying’ approach.
In this you put the baby to bed, then say good night, go out and let him/her cry.
After about 5 minutes of howling, you go back in, don’t give eye contact, just cuddle, keep lights down low, then without saying anything, put baby back to bed.
Then if baby is still crying after five minutes, do the same.
Keep on doing it, without making eye contact or talking or putting lights on. It’s soooo hard to do, but believe me, baby needs sleep too, and needs to learn how to put him/herself to sleep ON her/his OWN.
Go to google and look up ‘Super Nanny’ and you’ll find a better explanation of this process.

By: Amy

Amy — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:17:30 +0000

yes,yes,my daughter is/was exactly like this. Things do get better (at 16 months now). I just decided one night that I wasn’t going to hold her all night long anymore. I couldn’t. I work full time and I could not. But I was also against CIO and wanted to continue co-sleeping.

So I started nursing her to sleep lying on my side. She would crawl on top of me, cry, try to pick me up. I would get up, walk with her until she was sleepy and then lay down and nurse. Over and Over again. It sucked. But it worked. Finally she got it. She can fall asleep in my arms while we walk and then we lie down and nurse. Or she can fall asleep nursing in bed next to me and sleep next to me.

Hang in there and try gradual steps! It will get better. I like to think of my girl as an immature sleeper. She needs me more than most babies to help her with sleep. But I truly believe being there for her now will make her a confident sleeper in the long run. Think 5 years from now. Try to get some rest in the meantime and know that you are not the only one.

Oh, and if it makes you feel better/worse she STILL only naps for my husband in his arms. But for me, she will sleep next to me. The power of the boob, I guess.