Nil by mouth

We’ve been going down the path of Baby Led Weaning with the Imp. On the few occassions I’ve tried to feed him something with a spoon, he refuses, closing his lips tight. He will not be fooled. Even doing funny things to make him laugh results in a close lipped laugh. He KNOWS what we’re up to. Who knows if we created this aversion by having him feed himself from the beginning, or whether he would have been like this anyway. My guess is that it’s just his personality. He’s fussy about things going into his mouth – has to be on his terms. He’s always been like this with breastfeeding too.

Which brings me to last night’s episode, the dream feed. Success or failure? I haven’t worked it out. This is what happened… I was able to gently lift the imp out of the cot, get him to suck on my finger and then tried to get him to feed. I came up against the tight lip seal again. Would. Not. Open. Mouth. Tried different things to get him to open up. Not a chance in hell. He did not want to feed! I imagined that I would put him back, hop into bed and then he would wake demanding a feed.

But no, the wonderous Imp slept until 4am, had a feed, than back to sleep until 7! Of course, it might have helped that I was wearing earplugs due to a loud all-night party nearby. Or maybe the Imp sleeps better to loud 80’s rock.

Dream feed … sleep saviour or cruel joke?

I’ve always been two minded about the dream feed, you know it’s when you attempt to feed your baby before you retire to bed in the hope that they will do a longer stretch without needing to feed. You do it ever so carefully without waking them up. They feed in their sleep – and hence the ‘dream feed’. In theory I think it’s a wonderful idea, but I have never known whether it really works in practice. Actually I’ve never given it a decent trial to figure out if it is indeed all it is cracked up to be. Here are my reasons for not giving the dream feed a proper trial:

1. For a long time I went to bed at the same time as the Imp due to overwhelming tiredness, so couldn’t exactly do a dream feed with this arrangement anyway.

2. I am sooooo paranoid that he will wake up and think it’s a great party, and then refuse to go back to sleep.

3. I am constantly fooling myself that ‘maybe this will be the night that he sleeps through’ and I want to allow him the full glory of sleeping 7 to 7 or whatever, without me sneaking in a feed at 10pm. (stupid reason really)

4. I can’t be bothered. I just want to get to bed.

5. I’ve tried it on occassions and the Imp has still woken up at exactly the same times as he normally does. What IS the point?

6. I worry that the more milk he has at night, the more likely the midnight nappy explosion!

So tonight, I’m feeling lucky. I’m going to do the dream feed. Am I crazy? Wish me luck!

 And one other thing, the Baby Whisperer may try to convince you to do the dream feed with a bottle, but I have perfected getting the Imp to latch on in his sleep. The trick I use is to stick my finger into his mouth until he starts to suck on it, then I can easily get him to latch onto the breast after that. Actually he feeds so much better in his sleep than he ever does when he’s awake!

Struggling through

It’s great when you can see progress, however slight, in your baby’s sleeping habits.  Longer naps, easier bedtimes, longer gaps between wakings.  What about when there isn’t any progress and things seem to be regressing?  That’s where we are at the moment – Loudboy is still waking at least every couple of hours at night, he’s refusing to stay in his cot for long periods and his naps are up the shoot.  Excuses? Well, he’s hit the 10 month cling zone and hates to be separated from me or his dad, whoever is on duty.  He’s hyper during the day, crawling, climbing, thinking about walking, destroying anything he can see.  He’s also restless at night.  The warm nights don’t help as he gets very thirsty so is feeding more, meaning more nappy changes and so it goes on.

So how to get through?  First, it’s a phase.   It’s always a phase, even if it has lasted for ages.  It Will Pass.

Second, we relax and do what we need to get through alive and sane.  For us, that means bringing Loudboy into bed with us when he gets too restless for his cot, wearing him out during the day (and not worrying too much about nap times) and giving him lots of cuddles and playtime.

Is it time for sleep training? I don’t know.  The timing isn’t right at the moment, as we’ll soon be on holiday and in strange rooms and beds.  Then we will hopefully be moving house.  But if Loudboy doesn’t get his head around this sleep business on his own, it may be time to gently intervene, so watch this space.

Doing it his way part 2!

I think I may have stumbled upon the parellel universe for the jinx!

Experience has taught me that posting sleep progress on mumsnet means that that very night your little one will decide to shake things up for the worse. Posting on wordpress however may have the reverse effect!

Last night monkey decided to go and make a liar out of me and not only drop the 11am feed but dropped the 3am feed also, making it all the way through until 5.35 for his milk!

Sounds better than it is as we are still co-sleeping and he did wake a few times but was easily settled by a cuddle and his dummy. Definitely progress!

Let’s hope now that I haven’t sent jinx vibes spiralling into the universe and reminded them where we are!

Co sleeping for the growing baby!!

We’ve been co sleeping with the buddha bubs since… well since she was born really. Both bubs’ dad and I are big advocates, the cuddle factor, for breastfeeding, and also cos it’s so much blooming easier when  you’ve got a baby who likes to wake as many times as ours has and still does to some extent.

Just recently though, I’ve noticed just how close to the edge I’ve been getting. Not in a mental health kind of way you understand, but a physical, falling out of the blinking bed kind of way!

Buddha bubs is not likely to be moving out of our room any time soon and I dont really want to be up all night re settling her after she wakes, (I’m shattered enough as it is), so what’s the next plan of action?…..

Think it will have to be the best of both worlds and we’ll have to either invest in a bedside cot, or handyman dada will have to create one from the cot we’ve got. No more clinging to the edge of the bed for dear life, or waking with a stiff neck and aching back from wrapping myself around the bubs in a desperate bid to claim a little more of the bed, MY bed…..

I’ve seen a fab t shirt from lactivist.co.uk,  ‘I let my parents sleep in the big bed with me’……….how true!!!!

Doing it his way!

Haven’t posted for a while partly because I lost my password! but mostly because we’ve been focusing on getting monkey to only have one bottle at night and I didn’t want to report back until I had some positive news!

The first week he reacted very well. When he woke as usual at 11pm for his milk I lifted him into bed with me but told him no it was too early for milk. He would cry “mummy” a few times and sign for milk but this only lasted a matter of minutes and then he would go back to sleep for another 4 hours. 

Last week we had a bit of a step backwards. One night when he woke at 11pm I  gave in and gave him his milk. The weird thing is though, that he then slept until 7 with a few stirrings but no major wakenings. This has continued into this week.

How do I explain to him that he’s dropping the ‘wrong’ feed? I wanted him to drop the 11, have the 3am one for a while and then eventually drop it too. Instead he’s droppped the 3 and having the 11. I am very confused!

Are you a noise nazi?

When Baby Ninja was, well, a baby (she’s 11 months now, how did that happen? That’s almost a toddler) we were plagued by short power naps of exactly 30 minutes followed by a period of crabbiness until she finally gave in to sleep again. This went on for some time until she started coping better with being awake so much. (She didn’t start napping properly i.e. longer than 30 minutes at a time until about 8 months). Now, when you’ve got a baby that doesn’t sleep and you have to put in so much effort to get them to sleep for such a short time, anything that disturbs that precious state is not just mildly annoying. It is blood boilingly infuriating.

I was reminded of this the other day when I’d just put her into her cot (another thing that getting older has made easier, she doesn’t nap in her buggy very well instead these days) anyway, the telephone rang just as I was about to leave her room. The eyes popped open and cue a mini rage from Baby Ninja for being jolted awake from her fast approaching slumber. It then took me half an hour to resettle her. Needless to say I was cursing that damn phone all morning.

That reminded me of something I want to share with you though. How I’ve turned into a complete noise nazi since having a baby. My husband is the same. Sleep becomes such an obsession if you’re not getting any. Roadworks, people shouting (they call it talking in Essex but do it a good few decibels louder than the rest of the country), car doors slamming are just some of the things that would set me huffing and puffing. Actually not just huffing and puffing but completely and irrationally furious.

 

But do you know what noise I hate the most? It really is one of my biggest annoyances and one that would probably get Terry Wogan, the original old moaner, going. People blowing their car horn because they’re too bloody lazy to get out and knock on the door to tell the person they’ve arrived. Personally, I think this says something about our society. Bone idle, noise mongerers. Is that what Britain has become? Well, I want none of it. Bring back the peace and quiet of my youth where all you heard was bird song and……. well probably the above, it just didn’t bother me then. 

 

Seriously though keep the noise down and if you see a baby sleeping, spare a thought for the mum before you bellow “Ahhh is she a good sleeper then?” right into the pram before beeping your horn to let your pal know you’re ready to pick her up. Grrr.

In a moment of weakness…

…I almost bought a sleep-training ‘manual’ last night — the Millpond Sleep Clinic’s book — after I had been in to Chops five times between 7.30 and 11.30. (This seemed more onerous than usual because normally my lovely husband would do half the resettling, but last night was his weekly pub outing so I was left alone to deal with it. And I had just settled down to watch Life On Mars, too.)

In the light of day, of course, I realise that all I’ll read in this book is the same old same old. I KNOW about every sleep-training method, there isn’t a magic one I’m going to find in the pages of a book. Basically it seems to boil down to: cry it out (not for me), gradual withdrawal (I am tempted by this one, but since Chops will scratch and scratch at his eczema if left to his own devices, I’m not sure how it’ll work) or co-sleep and hope it gets better with time (this is my current strategy). Oh, and after a bad night, get some comfort and support from my SIFTW sisters!

On giving up sleep (or not)

When the Imp was very little, I wished that I could give up sleeping for a while. I thought how perfect if I didn’t need sleep and could just hold him all night like he wanted. I could watch his little face sleeping hour after hour, how wonderful.

But in reality, I desperately need my sleep. At least some (I don’t want to be greedy since sleep in the first months of a baby’s life is in very short supply).

I remember dorje, buddhist meditation guru, telling me that when he would meditate in the Tibetan mountains all day, he would only have one hours sleep a night. But then looking after a baby is far from meditation, and london is far from a peaceful Tibetan mountain. So I figured maybe I couldn’t give up sleeping after all.

Instead I practiced sleeping in positions that would enable me to hold him while I slept. Just sleeping next to me was NOT enough for the Imp, oh no…

Propped up with a billion pillows in bed, tying him to me with the sling before reclining on the couch, sprawling out on the floor with him lying over my stomach. We tried it all. In the end I might not have gotten a lot of sleep this way, but it did allow me some downtime, some peace, some relaxation.

Almost as good as meditation.

To nurse in public

It’s breastfeeding week this week. I love all the wonderful people who have worked to bring more acceptance to breastfeeding in public, anywhere, anytime.

And yet, I still find myself in a restaurant hiding out in a quiet corner, escaping to the ladies toilets, muslin draped over my shoulder and over the Imp’s head when trying to feed him.

I am not shy at all about breastfeeding. So why the reclusive behaviour at feeding time? Basically because the Imp prioritises EVERYTHING over feeding.

Licking the table cloth, way better than feeding.

Looking at the waiter serving bread, way better than feeding.

Watching dad drink a beer, way better than feeding.

Staring at the ceiling fan, way better than feeding.

You get the drift.

The only way to make him concentrate on nursing is to cut out all sensory stimulation. Switch the lights off in the ladies toilets, cover his eyes with the muslin, don’t talk, just gently rock and lull him into a relaxed state.

So I’d love to be a lactivist mamma creating more acceptance for breastfeeding, but alas I am destined to be hiding away in the back trying to coax my little man to his food.

Have a look at this wonderful advert:

Lunch (Man on Toilet)