Just goes to show, you never can tell

Chops has been a diehard 30-minute napper since he was about eight weeks old — you could set your clock by his waking after exactly half an hour. And he would never, ever resettle. This meant that up until recently I’d have to put him down for four or even (when he could only stay awake 90 mins at a time) five naps a day. Oh yes, and up til a few weeks ago this could only be in his pram (while being pushed) or in the car seat. I took a lot of half-hour walks around the block, rain or shine (at least it helped shift a bit of that baby belly).

And if you had told me that one day my little one would start taking 60/90-minute naps… in his cot… I would never have thought it possible (without leaving him to cry, which I am way too much of a softie for). And yet there he is right now, taking a long lunchtime nap — like he did yesterday — and for the last few days. What have I done differently? Nothing, really. I guess he was just ready for it. Who knows — maybe tonight, or tomorrow night, or next week, may be when he starts sleeping better at night, too.

Baby 1 and baby 2!

I have started to think that at around tea time someone comes to our home and secretly swaps my boy with a cloned copy. He looks the same, smells the same but the big difference is baby no.1 sleeps like a dream during the day and baby no. 2 needs physical contact and singing to go to sleep and wakes frequently through the night!

How can this be the same child? For his day time nap I place him in his cot with his dummy and his blanket, say ‘time for sleepies’ and walk out and close the door. He chats to himself for a matter of minutes and then falls fast asleep for at least 2 hours.

Fast forward 6 hours to bedtime…. I try the same again only this time all hell breaks loose. We have tears, shouts for mummy and subsequent throwing of all wordly possessions out of his cot. So I stay, I sing and I sit beside him until he goes to sleep. 

I cannot leave him to cry so what do I do?

For now I will carry on and hope that one day, as with his nap, he learns it’s ok to go to sleep on his own.

Ditch the books, ditch the sleep aids

Blue Milk tells it like it is

Things people say … today’s installment

“Babies shouldn’t wake up every 2 hours at night if they have enough opportunities to feed during the day“

Of all the insensitive stupid things to say to a person whose baby didn’t sleep much for his first 5 months. Oh yes, I’ve literally been starving him in the day because I love those 2 hourly wakeups. The mind boggles. Just because you’ve been blessed with an easy baby, a baby who sleeps, who nurses in a pattern, it does not mean you have all the answers. And try telling a baby that they “should” or “shouldn’t” do anything. Sure they are going to listen.

Rant over.

Progress – of a sort

Last night was the best we have had in a long time. Loudboy slept from about 11:30pm until after 4am, albeit in bed with us. Tonight has seen another small breakthrough. I’m trying to adjust things really slowly, one week at a time. Last week was Put Loudboy To Sleep When Tired (And Not Before). This week is Settle Loudboy In Cot (Not In Arms). If he gets too cross I will pick him up, but tonight he didn’t. Thanks to lots of tickling and funny noises, he eventually curled up in his cot and went to sleep. Now if he repeats his 4-hour stretch tonight I’ll be dancing in the streets tomorrow morning.

Sleep makes you soft

Have the Imp’s parents gotten soft in their few weeks of blissful sleep filled nights?

Indeed they have.

The Imp woke a measley 3 times last night, seemed he was extra hungry for some reason (growth spurt anyone?) And we were extra tired, barely functional this morning. What??? We used to be better than that. We used to think 3 wakings was a supreme night.

Alas, as you get more sleep, your standards lift, and then if you get 5 minutes less sleep than the night before, you are tired, 10 minutes less and you are shattered.

I was reading about a marathon runner who trained himself to only need 4 hours of sleep a night. 4 unbroken hours? Wonderful! that man should take our babies for a night and see how tired he is.

What’s the big secret, mummy?

What’s the big secret, mummy? Co-sleeping in the UK

Organically Inclined on The Family Bed

Changing The Ninja’s sleep habits. Slow ‘progress’

Until about 4 months Baby Ninja was great. One night waking, quick feed, back to sleep. Bingo. Then it went very badly pear shaped waking gord knows how many times a night and feeding possibly three times. We were just exhausted.

I started to bring her into bed with us so I could lay down and feed and at least not feel like I was fully awake, we’d obviously fall asleep together and she settled better so we started to co-sleep more regularly. Baby Ninja’s Dad wasn’t too chuffed about the idea because he worried about rolling on her so for a couple of months he was banished to the spare room and had nights full of blisful sleep. Ahh, bless.

Obviously this wasn’t doing anything for our relationship and by that I mean, the poor fella couldn’t as much as yawn without me jumping down his throat, “so you think you’re tired do you?”. Anyway, he made a bed rail and we started co-sleeping as a family again in a baby, mummy, daddy configuration and things seemed to work for about 4 months, we certainly got more sleep than before, still nowhere near enough but more. That is the most important thing in a sleep deprived household. Plus there is the fact that I love it. There really is nothing better than laying facing your sleeping baby and feeling their breath on your face, to hear their tiny sleeping noises and to wake up in the morning and get a big noseful of that gorgeous warm baby smell. That look of recognition on their face as they wake, the first stretch pushing their tummy to the ceiling and the giggles and kisses. All worth waking at 5am for. Lovely. Every parent should do it.

However, in the last few weeks Baby Ninja has become a wiggly, crawly baby which is much more difficult to sleep with. She was turning upside down in the bed, crawling litteraly underneath me and generally causing more sleeplessness with her movement than with her genuine wakings. I was also waking her moving her back into position. That, coupled with the fact that I’m such a light sleeper and wake to a slightly deeper drawn breath, I was becoming a zombie again and it just wasn’t working.

I don’t want to do controlled crying so it had to be gentle. Luckily baby Ninja has always gone to bed in her own room for the first part of the night so it was a case of trying to keep her there. First couple of nights her daddy stayed with her and when she woke he reassured her, stroked her, held her hand and then slept on a matress next to her cot. It was hard, there were tears and she wanted (and got) cuddles but some nights we had tears and she was cuddled next to me  in bed so I’ve learned that nothing is a fail safe guarantee. The fact is, when she did sleep it was for a good chunk of time so it felt right.

I took over on the third night and she slept until about 3 in the morning which is unprecedented. However, she didn’t really settle after that, crying out every 15 or 30 minutes. I stayed, held hands and stroked. She responded and it was fine. Fourth night was similar so even though we’re still up half the night, I feel that we’re starting on a road of consistency that we need to stick at for the time being. It feels like we’re making small progressive steps and it seems the kindest option. I couldn’t just abandon her especially as we’d spent the last 5 months co-sleeping but we’re trying to gently change the habits and breaking the cycle of her waking to come into my bed has to be the first.

As I’ve said before, she’ll get there in her own time. I may have to sleep in her room for a few months to come but I’m confident we’ll get there in the end. I don’t think I’m doing anything to stop her waking or teaching her how to sleep for that matter, I’m just providing the best environment in which to have a full and undisturbed sleep. I’m hoping that that’s all it’ll take and the rest is down to age and time. I’ll keep you up-to-date on any progress.

Skilling up, skilling down

Motherhood seems to have taught me a lot of skills that are wonderful on a daily basis with the Imp, but totally useless in other parts of life. It seems I can now:

1. accurately tell the temperature of bath water just by placing my hand in it for a second
2. catch food flying across the room
3. perform acrobatic style breastfeeding (due to the Imp’s refusal to breastfeed like a ‘normal’ baby)
4. put any random words into a song in a dubiously entertaining fashion

The Imp took his first bottle today. I’m not sure how I feel about it having breastfed him solely for 6 months. It just happened today that he was refusing to feed, yet I knew he was starving hungry. In the past he’d not really known what to do with a bottle. As a long shot, I expressed some milk and gave him it in a bottle, and he loved it. Sigh. Mixed feelings.

Too busy worrying to enjoy those special moments?

I spent most of yesterday with a good friend and her son who is 4 weeks old today and I  realised something about myself…

There have been times in my little boy’s life when I have been so busy worrying about what I was doing ‘right’ that I haven’t stopped to enjoy those special moments.

My friend and I decided to visit my mum yesterday for a change of scenery (we all know how much we need that in those first few weeks!) and while we were sitting in the conservatory it started to pour with rain. I watched with joy as this new born baby marvelled at the noise and the excitement of such a new experience. My mum piped up ‘oh Rudy used to love that too’ …….. I thought did he ?

I realised that yes, she was right, he did used to love it. Only instead of being fascinated by his little face learning something new, I had missed it and instead was probably bombarding my mum with the following questions….

*Do you think he looks tired?

*Should I try to put him down?

*Do you think I should make him wait for his next feed or feed him now?

*Do you think it’s wrong that he sleeps in bed with us?

………you get the picture!

And so now I realise that my mum has enjoyed and stored those memories for me because I was too busy worrying and trying to do the  ‘right’ thing. I won’t be doing that anymore!